ineke.co.uk

Here are some things to feel happy about:
1. It's Friday
2. Bus drivers who wave at each other
3. You can Google image search different sorts of baby animal whenever you like

Here are some things to feel outraged about:
1. The spelling of the word 'quiche'

— innocent drinks (@innocent) June 29, 2018

Lads! lads! Cream is NOT a substitute for butter. Ever. Cream is CREAM. Especially clotted. It is the DOLLOP, not the spread. Don’t make this elementary ‘cream-first’ mistake. People have been ‘dispatched’ for less…. #notathreatapromise https://t.co/PkaJkkGR2B

— Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦 (@Dawn_French) June 29, 2018

I will never not think this artwork is a tampon lost in the woods pic.twitter.com/SoQX2PsX0k

— Danielle Sepulveres 🌻 (@ellesep) June 29, 2018

It's July. Strawberries are in season, holidays are on the horizon, and tennis players are emerging from their nests.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 1, 2018

1 of these teams will be in the #WorldCup final…
Russia
Croatia
Denmark
Sweden
Switzerland
Colombia
England

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) July 1, 2018

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” AMBROSE BIERCE

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) July 1, 2018

Russia secure most unexpected victory since 2016.#WorldCup pic.twitter.com/V29ZBwYyz9

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 1, 2018

Dear @jeremycorbyn

Since EURef, 1.2m people died, of whom 900k are Brexiters.

1.8m young people can now vote of whom 1.5m oppose brexit vs 300k who support it.

Fact is that constituencies that voted leave are no longer leave.

Time for a change of policy and a #PeoplesVote

— Claudia Apple (@claudiaapple1) June 30, 2018

It's the first day of #Wimbledon today. A nation remembers that it quite likes tennis. pic.twitter.com/8Tlx3sZl7A

— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 2, 2018

IF WATCHING evening World Cup matches on ITV always remember to change channel before you switch off the telly, lest you be confronted with Piers Morgan’s smarmy, bloated face as you eat breakfast.

— 𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 (@TwopTwips) July 2, 2018

Turning on tweet notifications for this profile is the best decision I’ve ever made for my mental health. https://t.co/sUxWj0aXNV

— Mean Paralegal™️ (@itbwhatitb76) July 1, 2018

Congratulations you have passed MONDAY. The next level is TUESDAY. This game is terrible.

— Dave (@davechannel) July 2, 2018

FOOTBALLERS. Rather than hug your team-mate when he scores, why not do it when he makes a mistake? He probably needs it more. @GlennyRodge

— 𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 (@TwopTwips) November 18, 2012

We've had feedback over the last week that some people are unhappy with our plan to offer up to 14 scholarships to refugees living in the local area. To these people, we would like to say: Tough. Jog on. https://t.co/ioDLPp5crw

— Uni of Reading (@UniofReading) July 2, 2018

The Heatwave, day 719
Hosepipes have been outlawed
Ice lollies are now legal tender
Your mum still thinks you should take a jacket, just in case

— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 3, 2018

Three Lions outside Ebbing, Missouri#ENGCOL pic.twitter.com/TwcjFC0eKo

— Aaron (@AaronBoardley) July 3, 2018

Andy Murray didn’t play at Wimbledon in 1966
Andy Murray isn’t playing at Wimbledon 2018
It’s coming home lads 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

— Tom Meredith (@meredithlcfc) July 2, 2018

The World Cup is a good way of finding out where your neighbours are from, by hearing them screaming at the TV (people opposite me: Belgian)

— Anita Singh (@anitathetweeter) July 2, 2018

Trip, Trippier, Trippiest pic.twitter.com/8tmK7xGAzy

— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) July 3, 2018

Is there any limit to the size of a goalkeeper’s gloves? Or could one come on the pitch with one goal-sized glove ?

— Hugh Grant (@HackedOffHugh) July 3, 2018

Whenever I don’t know what to say in a potentially awkward social situation, I take inspiration from the Duke of Gloucester. pic.twitter.com/njpUUH1HIt

— Mikey Worrall (@mikeyworrall1) June 29, 2018

How the hell have I never seen this before? pic.twitter.com/5vhh3BrmeV

— Craig Addy (@craigsaddy) June 30, 2018

No one will know. #WorldCup #COLENG pic.twitter.com/N6pQQZuOgf

— BBC One (@BBCOne) July 3, 2018

It’s just about still coming home. pic.twitter.com/NCwuVW9aCi

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) July 3, 2018

BREAKING: Live scenes from Hell as England win penalty shootout.#ENGCOL pic.twitter.com/mBOwx7DJkr

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 3, 2018

@Baddiel Shoreditch High St blocked to traffic due to spontaneous rendition of Three Lions pic.twitter.com/W76Qd1QxoL

— Marcus Aurelius (@Aurelius) July 3, 2018

Tonight, we were all Ian Wright.

https://t.co/20ITkgQ05z

— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) July 3, 2018

These are live images from motorways up and down England.
We all feel sick.
We all wants to avoid this.
We all know what history says.

BUT WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER… pic.twitter.com/DFpT9SRNqz

— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) July 3, 2018

No mum, I’m not coming home. It’s… pic.twitter.com/VdFHVoEfTI

— Jesse Lingard (@JesseLingard) July 3, 2018

WEDNESDAY MOTIVATION
If England can win a penalty shootout then you can do anything.

ANYTHING.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 4, 2018

Wondered why the car blowers didn't seem very effective then realised half of them were set to 'email' instead of 'bacon'. pic.twitter.com/6vkD1m5t7j

— claire (@claire_clara_) July 4, 2018

Perhaps one day you'll explain to him how you broke the country and then buggered off leaving others to fix it. https://t.co/My7n7eFsUH

— Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) July 4, 2018

The Heatwave, Day 732
Deodorant sales are up 5000%
No one has worn trousers in three weeks
Clouds have not been seen since April
Ice-T has officially changed his name to Puddle-T

— innocent drinks (@innocent) July 5, 2018

Eastleigh, 1994 ❌
Salisbury, 1997 ❌
Bexhill and Battle, 2001 ❌
South Thanet, 2005 ❌
Bromley and Chislehurt, 2006 ❌
Buckingham, 2010 ❌
South Thanet, 2015 ❌

Can you return to frontline national politics if you have never been elected?https://t.co/5vpmZMaSso

— David Lammy (@DavidLammy) July 5, 2018

The quintessential Twitter exchange: an anonymous Trump fan account telling the ghostwriter of Trump's The Art of the Deal that he should try reading Trump's The Art of the Deal pic.twitter.com/SkryMnDMje

— Michael Deacon (@MichaelPDeacon) July 4, 2018

It should be illegal for both players to wear the same hats when playing on telly #wimbledon

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 5, 2018

Today I met a man who became a Christian after watching a football game

He made fun of a guy holding a John 3:16 sign

His friend asked if he knew what John 3:16 meant

That night he got a bible and read John 3:16

He kept reading, got converted, and 25 yrs later still believes.

— Garrett Kell ن (@pastorjgkell) July 4, 2018

All this Gareth Southgate love – well deserved for a great bloke – only says to me how much we’re crying out for basic decency in our leading public figures. We’re tired of braggarts and buffoons and Gareth is helping to fill the void.

— Nick Metcalfe (@Nick_Metcalfe) July 4, 2018

Who are England playing tomorrow? DON'T WORRY here is everything you need to know about Sweden pic.twitter.com/yFfC6lgCTX

— Dave (@davechannel) July 6, 2018

It’s 28 degrees outside and I’ve just seen two men out running. They weren’t being chased by the police, a serial killer or bees so can’t work out what on earth they were running for 🤷🏻‍♀️

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 6, 2018

NEYMAR. Always find yourself having ‘a bit of a fall’? For peace of mind for you and your relatives, why not invest in one of these? pic.twitter.com/uGnxpVdFVm

— 𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 (@TwopTwips) July 6, 2018

🎶 It's coming home 🎶

David Baddiel and Frank Skinner's song is sweeping the nation (again!)

Here's the story of how it all started… #ThreeLions #WorldCup pic.twitter.com/QBXJUFdFxP

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) July 5, 2018

Two male swans in Austria have been forcibly removed from their lake, after they repeatedly attacked people to protect their adopted child – a plastic cup.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) July 7, 2018

John Barnes’ rap is closer to 1966 than it is to the present day.

— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) July 7, 2018

This amusing me somewhat this morning.. Buckingham Palace Guard change yesterday. #ENGSWE pic.twitter.com/38yopCp2Sc

— Elizabeth Rizzini (@lizzieweather) July 7, 2018

My mate has two tickets for the England vs Sweden game on Saturday. He didn't realise that it's going to be on the same day as his wedding, so he can't go. If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Andrew's Church in Cambridge and her name is Sarah

— Billy ✌️ (@BiIIyNichoIIs99) July 5, 2018

Found it’s not the best idea to wander round the house singing @Baddiel’s “30 years of hurt” just days before your thirtieth wedding anniversary

— Nick Cohen (@NickCohen4) July 7, 2018

If you support Brexit, knowing the referendum has been officially declared fraudulent, knowing that the main promises have been proven to be false, knowing that the generations living with this mess voted against it…
You don't believe in democracy. You just believe in Brexit.

— Femi (@Femi_Sorry) July 7, 2018

It’s coming home! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #threelions #EnglandvSweden #WorldCup18 #meme #itscominghome pic.twitter.com/68zhGAjPmr

— Chris Gillen (@chris_gillen) July 5, 2018

Will I ever need my duffle coat again?

— Paddington (@paddingtonbear) July 6, 2018

This is poor but I'll forgive them for Gate/South because that's a cute touch. https://t.co/Q6WmSIQPHg

— Aaron (@AaronBoardley) July 7, 2018